Starlight falls and my hands open wide to catch it,
to hold it
for just a brief moment before the wonder and beauty
pass slowly through my fingers,
and my heart aches for more. . .
More time, more moments, more memories, more chances, more giggles and hugs from my precious little girl – the one who is not so little anymore.
How does time go so fast? How have twenty-one years passed by and those deep brown eyes that once looked wide up at me for answers are now looking deep into her own wide-open future?
How have the little hands that once held so tight to mine grown into those of a beautiful woman who will make her own marks on the world?
How can it be that one day all too soon, my aging hands will be right there next to hers, helping to pack and mark the boxes she’ll bring to a new place, a new home?
Ouch! Isn't home just where your mom is?!
It’s hard to let go, and already I know a part of my heart will feel as empty as the room she leaves behind, and after my precious treasure, hauls away her treasures to new destinations, some of the sparkle in my life will be gone.
But I would never want to hold her back, so I will silently acquiesce to reality, and even as these thoughts bring sparkles of tears to my eyes, I know it’s a part of my growing too.
I haven’t been the perfect mom, there’s no such thing, but I have loved her deeply and she has blossomed into a woman of beauty with deep love to give of her own. Her spirit is amazing and she has grown resilient and strong, yet still at times, surprisingly vulnerable and fragile and I love the way she is beginning to look at life.
She has finally begun to look past those things that have scarred her and is realizing that broken can be beautiful and the things that she thought might just squeeze the life right out of her, have actually been part of the shaping of her soul.
It’s a broken world we live in, and there are broken-apart lives all around us, but often those tiny shattered pieces, the ones that many might quickly just throw in the trash, are the ones that suddenly catch and reflect the most brilliant light. If we’ll just pause long enough to notice, we may discover break-through moments that will make us catch our breath and finally see the beauty we would have otherwise missed.
There are so many lessons to be learned on this journey we call life and I’m grateful to be learning some of the hardest right beside my beautiful daughter.
As I reflect in my heart, I can see her like the starlight I couldn't hold long in my hand, and I am reminded that stars are never for the holding on to.
They are for lighting up the sky.
So I say, reach high and shine on my sweet girl!
Shine for all the world to see.
I love you.